Not so much "on the wagon" anymore

About 24 hours ago I blogged about Raoul. This afternoon while sitting at my desk I noticed he was leaning. I touched him and a bit of his little plant was sitting loosely in the soil. Next thing I know a third of my plant Raoul CAME OUT OF THE POT IN MY HAND! It was like a bad horror movie! My poor dear sweet Raoul! What have I done to you? Devastating I tell you.

When my sponsor came down to my desk, she dealt with it very professionally, and proceeded to freak out. She doesn't know what to do with me now as she never figured that I would fail at a supervised succulent that I wasn't allowed to water. And she's a good support as she told me that "the plant committed suicide because it had such a smothering mommy."

But I'm freaking out here. And now my sponser is acting as Plant Protective Services (PPS) and taking my plant away "for its safety." My Raoul plant is in a foster home and it's been less than a week! I'm thinking the only reason my cat is alive is my husband. And I definitely should not be left alone with children. I've heard that in many 12 Step Programs, you are not allowed to have a relationship until you have kept a dog alive, and prior to that kept a plant alive. A PLANT! The point with me is that I can't keep a plant alive! Now tell me, what's the step smaller than a plant? Mold?

So now, who knows what step I am on. My sponser said I shouldn't worry as she would bring me a plant she received as a start from our mom that I would NEVER be able to kill. "What plant?" I asked.

A pothos.... Yeah, I've already killed one of those.

12 Step Program

I've entered a 12 Step Plant Program. I didn't exactly enter it as much as my sister threw me into it. She's created the program herself and felt that I needed emergency intervention, or rather my plants needed a serious intervention.

Step One: Admitting you have a problem. Hello, my name is Rachel and I kill plants.

Step Two: Eliminate plants from your life. All of the plants in my home were surgically removed and sent to the garbage. I swear that they weren't all dead, or at least not completely dead. There were a few good leaves left.

Step Three: A plant-free home life. Maybe that is why I was so compelled to by the big flower pillow at IKEA- I knew I was going to be void of real plants. The flower pillow I can't 'love to death' as my sister accuses me of doing to my plants. Yes, I love my plants, but I don't love them to death, I really don't... and apparently I haven't gotten over denial.

Step Four: I have recently received approval to pass to step four. A supervised succulent at work. I'm allowed a succulent, it lives at my desk at work, and I'm only allowed to water it when I get approval from my sponsor (sister). It's a very happy plant that takes sunny vacations each weekend at my coworker Jonathan's desk, because it's closer to a window. My plant's name is Raoul- but I promise that naming your plants is completely normal. Unless it sends me back a step, then I'll reconsider.

If I'm sucessful at step four and move on to new steps, one day I'll live a happy life, free from dead plants.

Behold, my two new loves:

Virgin Pina Coladas- My dear friend Holli introduced us to the wonderful world of Coco Lopez Cream of Coconut; an absolute must have for making the correct Pina Coladas.
My new Beata Pillow (pronounced Pilla) from IKEA- I doesn’t go with anything in my house whatsoever. But I love it. It’s even slightly velvety, which may make some people gag, but makes me smile. Oh the simple pleasures of life.

To con the Con

Jeff and I went camping with friends a few times while we were dating. Some of you can attest to this as you were there. However once we got married Jeff refused to go camping with me. Apparently going camping was was just to "con me" into marrying him, and now that we're hitched he doesn't have to play that "charade" anymore. My husband firmly believes that as long as there are hotels, we should "do our duty to support them." Whatever. But now after five and a half years of marriage, I conned Jeff into going camping down in Goblin Valley! Who's the Con now?

And doesn't he just look like he's enjoying himself.

"You're so domesticated"

That's what my mom would say if she saw what I was up to lately. Anytime I would do something crafty, domestic or otherwise traditionally homemaker-esk, she'd tell me I was "so domesticated!" So here are a few bits of what I've been up to that would make my mudder proud:

Brownie Sandwich Cookies

Mr Crocheted Caterpillar

Homemade Grape Juice

And why yes, the grapes did come from the vines in my backyard.

And yes, my sister and I are totally juice'n pros now.

And yes, we were somewhat underwhelmed to get only 8 quarts of juice from a literal ton of grapes.

this delay in programming has been brought to you by:

A severely needed 9 days away in Cape Cod and Rhode Island,

A fabulous meal at Iggy's Doughboys and Chowder House,

Made possible by a happy husband,

An outing to the real Mystic Pizza in Mystic, CT (and yes, the sauce is special),

Brought in part by a ferry to Nantuckett,

Made possible by a generous grant of Dramamine (make that a double),

A beach full of sea shells,

The number 90,

And the letter "S."

love + marriage... oh and torture

As the political season is well underway, we've been watching the different conventions and speeches of the parties. After hearing a mention of John McCain's prison experience, I asked my husband Jeff what exactly happened. Jeff gave me a short explanation saying that, as a POW in North Vietnam, McCain was imprisoned and tortured for five and a half years.

"Wow!" I said. "Can you believe that? Five and a half years? That is such a long time. That's as long as we've been married. To be tortured for that long? Jeff, can you even imagine being tortured every day for as long... as we've... been marr...ied..."

I quickly realized what I was asking, at the same time noticing Jeff had a rather awkward and uncomfortable look on his face. I didn't have him give an answer to my question. And as a good husband, he didn't volunteer one.