i'm becoming way too molly...

This is becoming tragic and I’m having a very difficult time dealing with this and it’s frightening me to the core! The symptoms of evidence have come on slowly but now I must do something. The first sign showed up last June. I was given the job of being girl’s camp director for our ward/neighborhood. I was in charge of coming up with a craft and I foolishly used the powers of IKEA for evil and incorporated their Spontan magnet strips into a craft! What in good hell was I thinking? Wasn’t I the one who proclaimed that the one downfall of having such a gracious gift as IKEA in our midst was that little relief society groups and “mommy and me” groups would suddenly start stenciling on well-designed euro-style furniture- basically defacing it? Yes… that sounds like something I would say.

Then I become Young Women’s President and suddenly I become one with a Molly-Supreme-Mormon website called Sugardoole.net. I have to admit that it’s a fabulous resource! Under a thick layer of cheesy it has a wide variety of Sunday lesson helps, handouts and activities for the Young Women. If you are of the mormon persuasion and unaware of this website then you are just missing out! What is wrong with me that I think this is so great?

Now, I could handle my rap sheet of priors until now. My sister-in-law’s wedding shower is tomorrow and decided to get her some of our favorite kitchen things. Harmless enough until I turn down an isle at Smiths to see a 9 x 13 glass Pyrex dish with the handy-dandy plastic lid. I think to myself, “Those are great, everyone needs a few. And they’re even better when you use the etching paint to put their last name on the bottom so it won't get lost at a party.” I’ve been pretty under the weather the last week and a half and now that I’m starting to pull out it occurs to me that I could use a little project like this. What? NO! This is wrong. A) making a project for a wedding present and B) a personalized wedding present. There’s no taking that puppy back to the store if they don’t want it! And who likes personalized wedding gifts anyway? No one, that’s who! What’s next? Using epoxy to put their wedding invitation picture in the bottom of the dish so they can scoop out their funeral potatoes to reveal their faces? Oooh, I could put their wedding date on there too, ya know, to be clever and such. This is wrong! Sick and wrong!

So please, please stop me before it’s too late! Please shoot me if I have show up with a Mini-van, that I always have and still do swear off, and start explaining that "really, they do get great gas mileage… and it’s great that the kids (that I don’t have) and their friends can get in and out so easily… and there’s so many cup holders…and so much room…” If you think there would be nothing wrong with any of this then it may just be too late for you… Oh, wait. I’ve got to go now because the glass etching on the casserole dish needs another coat.